EPISODE 10: More Dishing on Dating

Published 12/14/23

JEAN
00:07

I’m always meeting people. I had three dates last week.

 

LAURA STASSI 

Really! 

 

JEAN

I have a date this weekend. No I, I’ve really met a lot of people online.

 

ANN MAAS

00:20

And he said, “yes, I went out with her.” And he then just told her about our thing with you.

 

LAURA STASSI 00:29

Perpetually on the dating sites — plus, I’m going on a first date and taking you with me! “More Dishing on Dating.” That’s this episode, the final one of 2023, of “Dating While Gray: The Grown-up’s Guide to Love, Sex, and Relationships.” I’m Laura Stassi.

 

I’m like a lot of you out there. I say I want a romantic partner. But I’m not even attempting to date. With everything else I’ve had going on this year, that just seemed like too much work. So I’m seriously impressed when I hear from people like this woman. We’re calling her Jean.

 

JEAN

1:07

Every date I’ve had in the last 20 years have all been people I’ve met online.

 

LAURA STASSI  01:13

Whether it’s for casual dating or something more serious, Jean has found the online sites really valuable. She told me all about it and, as you’ll hear, our respective dating track records is not the only difference she and I have.

 

JEAN

 01:29

I was married for 28 years. I had a spouse that had issues with the truth. And when my children went to college, I finally left him and was on a number of dating sites, and met quite a number of wonderful, wonderful men. And quite honestly, I was overwhelmed by all the attention after being in a faithful, long marriage for so many years that I’ve had trouble committing, because I just — I’m afraid of making another mistake. So I have stayed single.

 

LAURA STASSI 02:15

And when you say you’re afraid of making a commitment, or you’ve had trouble committing, you have … 

 

JEAN

02:20

Actually, yeah, I’ll take that back. I’ve been in about five relationships in the 20 years I’ve been single. For one reason or another, often, I had more than one person who was very interested in me at the same time. And it made it very confusing for me to choose. And so I ended up not choosing, which is a decision in and of itself. So that’s been complicated. 

 

LAURA STASSI

Sure. So when you say relationships …

 

JEAN

I’ve been in five committed relationships.

 

LAURA STASSI

Committed, mm-hmm.

 

JEAN

One lasted five years. 

 

LAURA

Oh!

 

JEAN
One lasted three years, one last a year and a half. But the — several lasted a year and a half.

 

LAURA STASSI 

03:07

So they were committed. But did you ever think okay, these are going to be … I’m gonna go the distance with this one particular person or …

 

JEAN

03:14

Yes, actually, two of them. The five-year person and somebody I lived with for two years. I — both of those. So the five-year person, I broke up with him because he didn’t want to live together. 

 

LAURA STASSI 

Oh, you were — okay. 

 

JEAN

But that was a mistake. I wish I had –

 

LAURA STASSI

Oh!

 

JEAN:

No, yeah, that’s my big regret. And the two-year person actually left me he was living here. And he left me because he felt the person I had been with for five years, that he still — that we still loved each other,

 

LAURA STASSI 

 

A ghost  in the house. So the five-year person, you were in a living apart together relationship.

 

JEAN

03:56

Right. And he was, still is, a great guy. And he’s happily married. 

 

LAURA STASSI

Oh, darn it.

 

JEAN

There are perks about living with someone: sharing your breakfast tea or snuggling, or whatever it is. And he’d been burned in past relationships and didn’t want to move in with me. So I broke up with him and met the guy I was with for two years. And when that guy wanted to move in with me, then the first guy finally was ready to move in with me, and I was very confused. 

 

LAURA STASSI 

You know what? I have to say sometimes things — it’s not only timing, it’s just some things are meant to be and some things are not meant to be.

 

JEAN

04:38

I just don’t believe that. I do not believe things are meant to be. I think people make choices, and sometimes bad choices. I think I made a bad choice by not being patient and just being happy for what we had. 

 

LAURA STASSI 04:53

I’m a little sad to hear that you’re not sharing my Pollyanna view. Does that mean you live with regrets? regrets?

 

JEAN

 05:00

Yes. I do.

 

LAURA STASSI 05:05

Where are you today? I know you’ve said that you’re not. I mean, I’m assuming you’re not looking.

 

JEAN

05:11

Oh, I am looking. I mean, I’m always online, I have a very detailed profile. And I, I insist before I talk on the phone with anybody, or text back and forth lightly, that they comment on my profile. So that I know, they haven’t just looked at the pictures, and they’ve actually read it. 

 

Because I talk about what political group I support. And I talked about not wanting people who are from a different political group, and I’m very, very clear about that. And so I need to know people’s politics before I talk to them. It’s in my profile, and I make sure that I write back to them. And I said, so for whom did you vote? I just, that’s no matter what they write, they’ll say, I liked your — loved your pictures, or I loved your profile, but they don’t do anything specific, then that’s what I asked back. 

 

And then if they’re in, then I say, well, what else about my profile? I’m really clear about this. If they can’t read my profile and comment on it, I don’t want to waste my time with them, I will unmatch them. So I don’t give them a chance. And then, right away, I say let’s go to FaceTime. Because I want to make sure the person is who they say they are. I’ve never been scammed. If people don’t want to talk to me face to face — couldn’t we text back and forth, or can’t  we just talk on the phone? I say no. My profile’s really, really detailed. You get no surprises. 

 

You know, we don’t know chemistry, we don’t know sense of humor, personality. But you know from reading my profile what my values are, what I want, who I am, how I spend my time, what my interests are. So maybe that’s a reason that I meet a lot of people 

 

LAURA STASSI 

Good for you. What do you want?

 

JEAN

07:14

One of my children’s favorite books that I used to read to them when they were little, was about a king. And the book ended, “and they all lived in love and laughter forever after.” And that’s what I want. I want to live in love and laughter forever after —  if I can find someone with whom to share that.

 

LAURA STASSI 07:38

Love and laughter forever after – oh, such a better way of saying till death do us part, don’t you think? I looked it up. It’s from a children’s book called “Forever Laughter” by author-illustrator Don Freeman. Fun fact: He’s best known for his picture books about Corduroy, the teddy bear. I remember reading those to my kids. 

 

Back to Jean, I checked in with her recently. Since our last conversation, she’s gone on some more first dates, and some of those led the second dates. But there wasn’t enough chemistry for any relationship to develop. Jean also told me she’s FaceTimed with quote, some interesting people in different cities. But neither of us seems to have the energy or interest to pursue something far away. I feel ya, Jean. 

 

Here’s another online dating story. And yet another fun fact, it involves two people I interviewed for this podcast. 

 

ROB 

I’m athletic and want to do stuff like hiking and so on. So they’re fairly straightforward variables. It’s just when I think about the things I enjoy doing, it would be fun to be with somebody like that.

 

LAURA STASSI

08:49

That’s the man we called Rob, on the “Great Expectations” episode in the fall of 2022.

 

ANN

08:55

These photos should be about you. They really should not have your friends. They should not have your family because they’re not doing the dating. You are.

 

LAURA STASSI 09:06

And that’s photographer Ann Maas. She gave us tips for being snap-tastic on the “Dating 101” episode. It aired two weeks after “Great Expectations.” Ann and Rob did not know they both been on the show until after they connected on a dating app. Ann emailed me about the coincidence and said they had a first date on the calendar. So of course I asked if I could come along! But not for the entire day. Come on, give me some credit. I made plans to talk with them individually at the restaurant — the first time before they met face to face, and the second time about halfway through their date.

 

[SOUNDBITE FROM DATE VENUE]

 

ANN: 

Too funny!

 

LAURA STASSI 09:48

How are you? 

 

ANN

I’m good. How are you? 

 

LAURA STASSI 

How long did it take you to get here? 

 

ANN

Oh, I live close by so he was very sweet to come to me.

 

LAURA STASSI 09:57

How long did it take you to get ready? 

 

ANN

That’s a different story. Maybe 45 minutes.

 

10:06

LAURA STASSI  

You haven’t seen each other face to face, right? Okay, so I’m, I’m not going to be an observer. I’m going to just let you guys have your date after — you know, but I’m going to pop in sometime  mid-date. So let me ask you a couple questions. From his profile …

 

ANN

10:20

Good age. I liked his pictures, what he had to say, and he responded right away when I reached out. 

 

LAURA STASSI 

 

You said, you seemed to have a lot in common. 

 

ANN

10:30

Well, just even initially. So he said he’s into the cultural arts, that family was important, enjoyed getting out and about, liked cooking together. I liked his height. Like I said, I liked his pictures. And then I actually listened to the podcast. And I liked his voice.

 

LAURA STASSI 10:50

So when you first reached out to him, you did not know he had been —

 

ANN

10:53

I had no idea. And he just when we started writing to each other, and he asked what my business was, I said that I was into online dating. And he goes, Oh, my God, I just did a podcast on Dating While Gray. and I said, I did too. And so he goes, oh, my God. So I thought, why not tell Laura that we’re going to meet? And had no —  I had nothing. I had not heard his podcast prior. So it was just too funny. And when he told me that he’s doing this research for online dating, I went, we have to talk. Just seems we’re both outgoing. And why not?

 

ROB

11:34

I always say to a first date, why don’t you pick a place near you that you’re comfortable with? So she got to.

 

LAURA STASSI 11:40

How long did it take you to get here? 

 

ROB

11:43

It was a mere 40 minutes of excruciating driving on a busy highway.

 

LAURA STASSI 11:45

Why Friday night instead of Saturday night?

 

ROB

11:49

Because we met on Wednesday, and it was the first available night. 

 

LAURA STASSI

OK, so first available — you wanted to get this done soon.

 

ROB

11:56

You know, why wait if you want to be with somebody that seems interesting.

 

LAURA STASSI 12:01

Okay. Her profile …

 

ROB

The usual positives, such as, obviously, attractive to me. Turns out she had a great profile. Interesting things that highlighted her strengths.

 

LAURA STASSI 12:18

How long did it take you to get dressed? 

 

ROB

Three minutes. 

 

LAURA STASSI

 

  1. When did y’all make the connection, the Dating While Gray connection?

 

ROB

12:26

I wish I could remember. I’m pretty sure I somehow brought it up, that I had made this episode — based on some of our back-and-forth texting. At some point, she said, Oh, I just interviewed with Laura Stassi. Period.

 

LAURA STASSI 12:42

So you were texting on or off the app?

 

ROB

12:44

Well, the usual transition is on the app for a while and at the point at which everyone’s comfortable, then you go to texting, just because texting is more normal. And then we switched to a phone call. No, we actually bypassed the phone call and went straight to hey, let’s get together. You’re a good texter. Let’s have dinner together.

 

LAURA STASSI 13:03

In app land, it sounds kind of quick. 

 

ROB

Absolutely. But we’re both fairly comfortable, confident people, I think, based on what I’ve seen so far.

 

LAURA STASSI 13:17

Okay, Rob’s now alone at the outdoor table. I’m kind of hiding behind some bushes so they can’t see me. But I can see. Ann’s walking in. They’re both smiling. Oh, big,  long hug. All right, let me go sit in my car for about 30 minutes. And then I’ll check back in with them one on one.

 

ANN

13:39

It’s got chicken. It’s got broccoli, rice, quinoa. It’s yummy, absolutely yummy. I mean, we both love the shrimp. And he did a good job selecting the wine.

 

LAURA STASSI  13:49

Oh, so you bought – he bought a bottle of wine. So tell me. Yellow flags? 

 

ANN
None.

 

LAURA STASSI 13:55

No yellow flags.

 

ANN

None.

 

LAURA STASSI 13:59

Green flags?

 

ANN

14:01

A lot. Oh, my God.

 

LAURA STASSI 14:07

Tell me. Tell me.

 

ANN

14:09

So easy to talk to, love his voice. And I’ve told him that. We both have the same love languages. We both are extremely outgoing. Just have the same outlook on life. I mean, he’s just been delightful. Absolutely. 

 

LAURA STASSI 

So the conversation seems like it’s gone…

 

ANN

14:28

Easy. Like I’ve known this guy. And we didn’t do any talking prior. I mean literally, we met on Bumble two days ago, I think. And the fact that he was interested in meeting me right away was such a positive. And then doing this with you that he was game was just so fun that I am just loving it. Very nice time. 

 

LAURA STASSI 14:50

So, I know it’s very soon, very early. But do you have hopes or plans for this relationship?

 

ANN

I do. I mean, If I could say to him “don’t date anybody else,” I would. I’m like, extremely attracted. So comfortable. I’m like this is it. I’ve been waiting a long time. I’ve been divorced for 15 years; I’ve been very picky. And this just kind of fell into my lap. And it’s just been delightful. absolutely delightful.

 

LAURA STASSI 15:29

What did you order? 

 

ROB

It was the harvest grain bowl — super healthy. In the phase I’m in, super healthy’s cool.

 

LAURA STASSI 15:37

So I want you to be really open with me. Are there any yellow or red flags?

 

ROB

15:42

I would have to say distance and traffic is one. But that’s not anything to do with her, needless to say. On my dating profile, I have limited myself to 20 minutes just because I figure if I go out to dinner and have some wine, being within 20 minutes is a good thing. Keeping in mind, of course, I have a car that drives itself but separate from that.

 

LAURA STASSI 16:02

Okay, how about green flags?

 

ROB

16:05

The green flags: attractive, fun, huge smile, outgoing, bubbly, and our personalities connect on all those levels. We’re very similar in those ways.

 

LAURA STASSI 16:17

How’s the conversation been going? 

 

ROB

It’s certainly not hard. And one of the things that’s interesting, I love to ask questions, and I love to keep going. And people tend to respond by continuing to answer the questions. So consequently, she has spent a lot of time answering questions.

 

LAURA STASSI 16:35

Okay, I know it’s early, you just met her. Do you have any hopes for how this might progress?

 

ROB

16:43

Well, clearly, we get along well, and we have similar personalities. And it would not be hard to spend a lot of time with each other. The idea of traveling a lot is not something that’s a desire, but it can be overcome with personalities and friendship and so on. You know, her life is somewhat different living in a suburban environment and surrounded by friends versus mine, living in a condo, in an urban environment. So there’s differences in our day to day, but we’ve been together for, you know, a short amount of time. You find those things out over time.

 

LAURA STASSI 17:14

Okay, so you’re kind of taking a wait and see. 

 

ROB

17:18

Well, I can’t remember the first time I was on a first date and said, This is the one. Wait, never. So it takes seeing somebody more times to have any sense at all of where you want to take it.

 

LAURA STASSI 17:31

Do you think you will see her again?

 

ROB

17:34

Absolutely. We’ll see each other again. Because from my view, you don’t get to know somebody on a first date. You exchange all this stuff like kids and family and ex and so on. So the time you get to know somebody is sort of in the second date.

 

LAURA STASSI 17:48

Okay, so definitely a second date. And then we’ll have to see if there’s a third date.

 

ROB

17:52

The word definitely applies to me. That would require her to say yes too. That, then, is definite.

 

LAURA STASSI 18:02

Thanks, Rob and Ann, for allowing us to tag along. So what do you think happened after we left that night? I found out. I’ll let you know, after the break.

 

BREAK

 

LAURA STASSI

18:24

From what I saw and heard that night, Ann and Rob’s first date was a success. And it seemed like they were both eager for a second one. I didn’t want to interfere with the organic dating process. So after that night, I waited a few months before getting back in touch. I started with Ann, and I asked her what happened after we let them be.

 

ANN

18:47

We finished eating and then he said, would you like a nightcap? And so we both had a nightcap liqueur to share. And we shared a dessert, which was very yummy. He was very courteous, he paid the bill. But there was one comment he had made during the dinner towards the end, where it was very complimentary during the date and then at the end, he said you’re gonna make somebody very happy. I felt that was like a backhanded slap that, thank you. You know, I kind of said thank you. And then said to myself, yeah, but not his. I was a little surprised then that he had agreed to go on a second date. 

 

LAURA STASSI 

So when did the idea of a second date come up? 

 

ANN

Well, when you had asked us if you’d be willing to go on a second date, and so after since you interviewed me first and then you interviewed him, he sat down he said, I want to full disclosure. I told her yes, I want to see you again. And I said great because I want to see you again too. So then to have that comment come up later — I don’t know if there was something said that changed his mind. But walked to our car. Well, walked to the parking lot. Looked to see, I said my car’s here; he said his car’s there. Hug, quick little kiss. The fact he didn’t walk me to my car was another. 

 

He did send a note that evening, you know —  I really enjoyed meeting you, having dinner. But in the back of my mind, somebody that says they wanted to go out again on a second date, generally, will add see — like the next day, how are you? Like, they would want to keep the momentum going. 

 

I had heard about this exhibit by a Japanese artist at the Hirshhorn. It’s this thing with balls and mirrors and stuff. And so goes, that’s great. Let’s do that. So we decided on a Tuesday, you had to call in advance to get the tickets, he got on it immediately at noon to get the tickets, he was excited that he was able to get us two tickets. So he just said, got the tickets. Let’s meet at 2 at the gallery.

 

LAURA STASSI

20:51

Okay, he had said that he wanted a second date, and he brought it up. But then it sounds like do you feel like you were making the effort to try to figure out what that second date was going to be? 

 

ANN

Yeah, it was more so — yeah, that it was more obligatory. 

 

LAURA STASSI 

Mm.

 

ANN

It was raining. And so I said, okay, I’ll take the Metro down. And I’ll meet you there. He arrived a little bit later than I did. And it was, it felt more like a friend. We walked around, and then we had fun chatting about art and so forth. I still find him very intriguing and very sweet guy.

 

And then at one point, he says, oh, did you tell Laura that we’re having the second date? I said, yeah. because she already — I mean, no, because she already knew we were. He goes, well, you know how some people  don’t always follow up on a second date. I went, no, she knew we were going to. He goes good, because then we’ll be able to just put an end, you know, kind of close this out kind of, basically. 

 

LAURA STASSI 

Oh, gosh.

 

ANN

I don’t know if he used the word close it out. But he certainly said good, then that’ll be like at the end, you know, so it sounded like he was doing this as an obligatory. He said he would and wanted to be the good guy and yes, we went out again.

 

LAURA STASSI 

23:06

The end.

 

ANN

Yeah.

 

LAURA STASSI

Well, I’m sorry about that because I wanted it to be as natural as possible. 

 

ANN
I know.

 

LAURA STASSI 

I don’t want to sit there as part of your conversation. I want to hear your honest thoughts at the beginning and at the middle, and then I’ll follow up with you individually at the end. But you felt like maybe he thought, okay, why not? I do want to meet her. 

 

Okay, so how did that second date end?

 

ANN

23:29

He’s like, you know, I’ve got to – I’ve got to get to my car. I think we’ve got enough time to grab something to drink. And the Hirshhorn has a little café-type thing. So they gave him his drink first, and he went and sat down. I had to wait for mine. And then I went and sat down, we chatted a little. And then he’s like, okay, I need to go, can I call you later? I said, that’d be great. He goes, since you don’t need to leave right away, why don’t you finish your drink, you stay. So I just casually finished my coffee.

 

LAURA STASSI So it sounds like he didn’t want to walk out with you.

 

ANN

No. He had — because I had to go to the Metro. And I thought it would be nice if he walked me to the Metro. 

 

LAURA STASSI 

Right.

 

ANN

He was going in another direction to his car. And then he called that evening. And he said, have you heard of the word cuffing? And he said, yeah, he said, there was this woman, I’d gone out with three different times, once a month. I liked her company, but she worked all around the world. And I figured nothing was going to come of it. And she called me and said, hey, I’m gonna be in town from now until January, you would be a perfect cuffing partner. Would you do this with me? 

 

I said oh, so when did you find this out? He goes well, I did know at the time when we went to the gallery today. But I didn’t think it would be appropriate for me to bring it up then. So I thought, you know, because she said she wants to do this with me and I wanted to be kind to you, I thought I’d tell you, I’m not going to be dating anybody else. And I’m going to be doing this with her. 

 

And I said,  out of curiosity, where does she live? He said, 10 minutes from me. I said, mm-hmm. He said, honestly, I know there’s algorithms. There are definitely men who are in your parameter within a few miles from you. Believe me, you’ll find them. Bottom line, he’s looking for convenience. 

 

LAURA STASSI

Wow. So you think his big sticking point was geography? 

 

ANN

Oh, yeah. He’s only been out for two, you know, for a year and a half. And I’ve been out for 15. 

 

LAURA STASSI 

Yeah. 

 

ANN

And so he has a totally, he’s still in the, hey, I’m having fun. I’m a great guy. He’s saying how people are asking him to go to black-tie events, and this and that, and he’s all connected. And that’s great. You know, he’s just totally enjoying his singlehood, though he says he wants to get married. But he’s in a different place, that he’s where, you know, we’re a dime a dozen —  though we’re lovely. 

 

LAURA STASSI 

Okay, I am trying to stay calm and non-judgmental. But I find myself getting really annoyed. If I had not inserted myself into this …

 

ANN

25:50

I wonder if we really would have had a second date. To me, he seemed like the perfect partner: charismatic, very comfortable with himself, easily able to be in a group of people; we both enjoy culture, basically around the same age group with our kids and in the fact that he worked with companies and helped boost them and so forth.

 

LAURA STASSI 

26:16

So how do you feel about the fact that he called you and, like …

 

ANN

26:19

Told me? 

 

LAURA STASSI 

Yeah, like kind of ended it that way. 

 

ANN

It was better than if he had ruined it at the end of the date: By the way, I’m not gonna see you anymore. I’m seeing somebody else. But I said, had you known any of this  even before our date? And he goes no, I literally just found out this weekend. 

 

LAURA STASSI 

So somebody calls him up and says, hey, let’s cuff. Okay, let’s?

 

ANN

26:42

She’s, she’s up here. You know, you work for a company that travels you around the world. You’re up here. I’m not up there. He’s up there.

 

LAURA STASSI 

26:52

I want to stop you right now. Don’t think that he is better than you are.

 

ANN

27:00

I think he thinks that that’s what he wants. 

 

LAURA STASSI 

Right.

 

ANN

And I am perfectly fine with who I am. And I felt that there is this — levels, and I wasn’t hitting his. And then that just tells me they’re not my person. 

 

LAURA STASSI 

Yes. 

 

ANN

And so I, that’s fine. There’s, it puts me closer because I found things that I liked. And so it lets me know, you know what, there are still people that will fill those things, but that’s not your one and you’re not going to change for him. And that if I’m too far, okay. Because I’ve talked to other men who will say, I’m coming, where should I meet you? 

 

LAURA STASSI 

Right.

 

ANN

So I know, I’ve been in it long enough that I’m not changing myself for any person. I want to feel wanted as much as I want them.

 

LAURA STASSI 

27:55

Okay, I have thoughts. The first being, is an obligatory second date better than no second date? I don’t think so. I think Rob may have misunderstood the whole point of this. This was like a Dating While Gray laboratory experiment. I went to observe and report back. I wasn’t trying to shape the outcome. And can we talk about the word cuffing? I know what it means. But I didn’t realize anyone ever actually used it in normal conversation. Like, hey, let’s cuff. Though I suppose that might be more fun than saying, I like you. Let’s be exclusive, length of our relationship to be determined. 

 

No slam on Rob, though. I appreciate that he opened himself up to the scrutiny. I checked with him. He didn’t want to comment further on the dates he had with Ann. I respect that. He did agree to provide an update on his romantic life after he cuffed, and then uncuffed, with the woman he told Ann about.

 

ROB

28:52

A friend of mine introduced me to a woman who had been recently separated and asked me to give the woman coaching because she was just getting back into the dating scene and not looking forward to it. So we had a first meeting and I shared all the lessons I had learned from dating. And then she suggested we have a second meeting. It turned out on the second date, I found out she actually liked me, which I had not really planned for. And that led to a third date and a fourth date, and then a fifth date. 

 

So now, I had been looking for somebody I thought for the next 30 years of my life and dating until I decided somebody wasn’t right. However, this woman had had a number of health issues in the past and was determined to just live every day to the fullest and not make big plans for the long term. Consequently, we started making plans a few weeks out. Then we started making plans three or four weeks out when there was a play I wanted to see. Then eventually, after six months of being together, we agreed to cuff through the rest of the year for five more months. 

 

Since then, we’ve been together a total of 10 months and by planning ahead, we’ve been able to take trips together, organizing them in advance. We’ve learned to cook with her friends and my friends. She’s really close to her family, as am I. And we’ve developed a wonderful relationship. So I have found that focusing on finding the right mate for 30 years, perhaps the best way to do it is to find somebody you just want to keep going out with. I guess we’ll see.

 

LAURA STASSI 

Thanks, Rob. Best of luck to you. As for Ann, she told me she’s still online, she’s still going out. She still hasn’t found the one. Her journey continues. Speaking of journeys, with this episode, it’s a wrap for 2023. We’re going on hiatus until February, when we’ll be back with new episodes plus a Dating While Gray radio broadcast special with American Public Media. You can follow the Dating While Gray Facebook page for more information and check with the program director of your local NPR member station. 

 

You can also go to datingwhilegray.com. Click the Contact tab at the top of the page to learn how to get in touch via email and voicemail. 

 

Can I just say, I really hope you do. I love hearing from you, whether it’s suggesting a show topic, answering a callout, responding to something you heard on the podcast or read in the e-newsletter…

 

CALLER 1 (singing) 31:45

… I’ll light the fire while you place the flowers in the vase you bought today … Thanks for the reminder, what a beautiful song. 

 

CALLER 2

Hi, Laura. I’m a big fan of your show. I haven’t missed an episode. 

 

CALLER 3 

Hi, Laura. I love your show. I want to tell you that that episode with Nancy and Luis was so amazing. And it shows that if you try something new, which you never thought you would do, that it could change your life. 

 

CALLER 4

I just finished listening to “All That Glitters.” And thank God you had Veronica on. I think it’s, you know, tragedy that there’s this — these popular shows that promote the grooming of women so that they’re chosen by a man and that that is part of the value of who they are. Veronica is a great example of a woman who is self-made, self-defined. She has self-respect, she has honor, integrity, and dignity. And, you know, removing herself from the cast of that senior bachelor show, I think is a fine example of her strength as a woman and knowing who she is.

 

CALLER 5

33:03

I think it might be nice to find love one last time, but also like you I have a lot of mixed feelings about dating. Actually, I’m terrified. I’m working out my point of view by going back to stand-up comedy here in New York City, where I live; something I used to do in my 20s and 30s. I’m having a blast finding the humor in getting older, letting my hair go gray, being divorced twice and analyzing what went wrong in my relationships. I would love to share some of my laughing while gray point of view with you and send you some clips of recent performances.

 

CALLER 6

Just wanted to say I can hardly wait for tomorrow’s episode about “The Golden Bachelor.” I watch it and I’m gagging and rolling my eyes at Gerry and all his love, love, love, and those poor women falling for it. 

 

CALLER 7

Hi, Laura. This is Pat. I am 74 years old and have been a widow for the past six years. My husband and I were married for 34 years. And he was 21 years older than I. We had a wonderful relationship, and he was the love of my life. I am not looking for love like that again. But I do hope to be able to find someone. Thanks so much for this wonderful podcast. It has meant a great deal to me. And I always look forward to it. 

 

CALLER 8

Food for thought. Love the podcast. Thank you so much. 

 

CALLER 5

I look forward to hearing from you. All right, thanks so much. Love your show, bye!

 

CALLER 4

Anyway, thanks for the voice.

 

CALLER 6

Thanks again, and I will listen to you tomorrow.

 

CALLER 3

Thanks for your fantastic program. Have a great Christmas.

 

LAURA STASSI

Thanks everyone. We’ll meet here again soon.

 

END CREDITS

Dating While Gray’s audio production and mix is by Steve Lack: Audio. For more on the show, check out datingwhilegray.com That’s where you can find the latest episodes plus the archive of previous episodes. You can also find links to send me questions, comments, tips, and true stories through email and voicemail. You know I love hearing from you. While you’re there, sign up for the free Dating While Gray e-newsletter delivered every Friday to your inbox. That’s datingwhilegray.com. Laura Stassi, thanks for listening