2024, what a year! We put out 20 new DWG podcast episodes, five new Speed Dating While Gray episodes, two hourlong radio broadcast specials with American Public Media, and countless e-newsletters and social media posts.
To clarify, those aren’t actually countless. I just don’t want to take the time to, you know, count.
I’m grateful for longtime listeners who wrote in 2024, including this woman: “I will turn 70 years old this month, and there’s lots of love and life still to come! Thank you for this podcast, and for being so down to earth that we can all identify.”
I’m thrilled when I learn the show is reaching new ears, including this man’s: “Love your podcast. Just discovered it recently. I’ve now ‘binge listened’ to the entire achieve. Sure wish [it] had been around when I first launched into dating in 2008 after a 29-year marriage. I sure would have done and thought about things in a different manner.”
But. For all the comments praising the show, I received complaints ranging from ad-content ratio to encore episodes and perceived political leanings.
I appreciated agreements with adjacent-themed pods including To See Each Other, An Arm and a Leg, and Love Letters. They brought relevant content to the DWG feed while giving me a bit of time to catch my breath, production-wise. Most of your comments were positive – though a one-star Apple podcast reviewer chided me to “Do Better… don’t start a podcast if you can’t actually commit to creating content … Ugh!”
Two major-media mentions, three local (to me) media mentions, and appearances on two national radio shows were all a great high! Still, I was disappointed by potential pod partners passing on pitches. (Times are tough for everyone, man.)
And. Despite my highly enjoyable 50-Plus Expo keynote conversation on dating after a certain age, I had little personal experience with the topic in 2024.
Sounds like I need to take the podcast reviewer’s advice and Do Better. I shall! Meanwhile, here are the highlights – and lowlights – of the Dating While Gray year.
I’M CAPABLE OF CHANGE
After years of feeling meh about Martin Short, I unexpectedly found him very, very appealing. That’s thanks to his on-screen chemistry with “Only Murders in the Building” co-star Meryl Streep. (She joined the cast in 2023, but I didn’t catch up with viewing until a few months ago.) The sparks looked real off-screen as well. Meryl, who’s been permanently separated for the past six years of her 45-year marriage, and longtime widower Martin swear they’re just friends – which in itself is a beautiful thing, I think.
At the expo … clearly, I have something I want to say!
My almost-perfect match on a dating site.
OTHER THINGS I’VE LEARNED
- The standard industry model for podcast advertising is not strategic for brands and companies, and it is not financially sustainable for creatives.
- Lenny Kravitz, 60, revealed he’s been celibate for almost a decade.
- Whitney and Blair, the golden couple spotlighted in the first-ever Dating While Gray episode, are no longer married. We re-aired “Starting All Over Again” in August; I shared an update from Whitney here.
- Poet Nikki Giovanni used the term “bench” to describe her special someone.
- “Dry dating,” the expression “do sex” instead of “have sex,” limerence, future faking … and the Burned Haystack Method, which we covered in “Ready, Aim, Swipe!”
- Solo dining is on the rise. I posted this AP article about it on the DWG Facebook page, noting that I’ve never done fine dining on my own. Almost 40 people commented, including these three: “It’s a goal! I can do movies, museums, and workshops/classes solo, but am still self-conscious about solo dining.” “I’m a widower. Dining out alone is not my favorite thing to do. I still do quite a bit of business traveling. If I dine out then, I’ll have dinner at the bar. I’ll take my iPad and read the newspaper.” “All the time. Sometimes you just prefer your own company.”
- The best vibrator is the Magic Wand. That’s according to The New York Times, so it must be true. (I cannot yet offer an independent assessment.)
WHAT I THINK YOU SHOULD KNOW …
- I’d rather be woke than asleep. That’s for anyone who agrees with the anonymous Apple Podcast reviewer who left a one-star rating for DWG because of the show’s “unbearable wokeness.” Ironically, the reviewer singled out the “Love Across the Divide” episodes … which explore navigating political divides in romantic relationships and include listener comments about the term “woke.”
- Golden Bachelorette Joan may actually be in love and planning a future with Chock. But, she’s also under contract with ABC. I don’t know for how much money and for how long. (Also, does Chock get any money for being the winner of the reality TV show?) So take all social media postings – and even a Wall Street Journal article mention, what? — with a hefty shaker of salt.
SPEAKING OF GOLDEN
Golden Bachelor Gerry revealed this month that he received a cancer diagnosis earlier this year when he was still married to GB winner Theresa. His now-ex-wife says the health issue had nothing to do with their split. In fact, they couldn’t agree on where and how to live … and also, “You can’t really know somebody in four weeks,” the duration of the show’s filming. Comments from the DWG FB page group:
- “If by your ‘golden years’ you haven’t figured out it’s a rotten idea to marry someone you’ve known only four weeks, you haven’t done much maturing.”
- “How about just admitting that you did it for the money and the press. Did anyone, anywhere, think this was a real thing?”
- “Also news: water is wet.”
IN MEMORIAM
Folks in the DWG community we lost this year include:
- Helen Fisher, 79, in August. The renowned biological anthropologist was generous with her brilliant and groundbreaking research on love and attraction. When she readily agreed to my interview request, she practically erased any traces of my imposter syndrome. Our conversation was the bulk of the 2022 DWG episode “The Older Brain on Love.” We re-aired it in May; it remains the highest downloaded episode in our catalog. Find a link to my post-interview Zoom conversation with Helen here.
- Phil Donahue, 88, in August. The daytime talk show pioneer launched the media career of Ruth Westheimer, among other accomplishments. His DWG connection? With wife Marlo Thomas, he co-wrote the 2020 book “What Makes a Marriage Last: 40 Celebrated Couples Share with Us the Secrets to a Happy Life.” I bought it back then looking for wisdom to share and also, I felt a bit ashamed I hadn’t been able to personally figure it out. One factoid that made me feel better: Many of the 40 couples interviewed are not in first marriages, including Phil himself. Phil and Marlo had their own podcast, Double Date, which was based on their book. Remember hearing the promo swap with Dating While Gray?
- Jerry, 91, on Thanksgiving Day. I first met Jerry and his “hot chick” wife, Ann, several years ago at one of his legendary post-club-run potluck breakfasts. They share their gray love story in the Speed Dating While Gray episode “The Happily Ever After Journey.” You can listen to it here, and read the transcript plus more about the couple here. And, in Jerry’s words, check out how joining a running club after divorce was his salvation.
I DID TRY TO DATE
I’m an 82 percent match with a forehead, according to one dating site. The pic I posted on the DWG Facebook page garnered numerous comments, including these:
- “Are you sure that is a forehead?…It’s pretty bad out there!”
- “I got an old naked guy standing in front of his bathtub.”
- “If the forehead makes 6 figures and owns a boat, it might be worth a try…” [LS note: This comment is from a man]
- Looks as if he uses sunscreen! Less skin cancer risk with this one!
SPEAKING OF DWG FB COMMENTS
Bad dates:
- “I went out for coffee with a man who intimated his precarious financial condition, so I Googled him when I got home. Turned out he was a victim of [criminal financier] Bernie Madoff.”
- “I met a guy on a dating site who chatted for 3 emails and then wrote to tell me was sorry we hadn’t met earlier since in the time it took us to write 3 emails, he had started dating someone with ‘regularity.’
- “On a date, when he wore a jacket into movies. I didn’t realize until we sat down that he was hiding a bottle of Coca-Cola. He did not want to pay the price for drinks for us at the show.” [LS note: He did not bring a soda for her, though. I asked!]
Another bad movie date:
“In the dark he put his hand, palm up, in front of me. I took it, thinking he wanted to hold my hand. He shook it and said, ‘cough up your half.’”
BUT, THERE’S HOPE
“In February, I met a man online. I’m 78, he’s 80. We have a wonderful time together and are very much in love. We’ve talked about how lucky we are at this age to have such happiness. We’re planning our first trip together. He makes me smile when I think of him.”
“My guy is 5 years younger than me! After 45 years of marriage and an ugly divorce, I thought ‘never again.’ But now I think, ‘never say never.’
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Goodbye, 2024! I promise to remember mostly the love.