A reality dating game show/podcast … are YOU game? Here’s the application for Hang Up.
Let me know if you decide to apply!
Transcript
LAURA STASSI
About a year or so ago, I sent a LinkedIn request to a bigwig at PRX, the Public Radio Exchange. Their podcast network, Radiotopia, has a lot of great content … and I thought Dating While Gray would enhance their roster.
The bigwig accepted my LinkedIn request. But he very nicely, and quickly, said no thanks to Dating While Gray joining PRX. They’d recently signed a contract for a dating-related podcast, and he didn’t think there was an audience for the both of us.
Well, that show has since launched. It’s now in Season 2. It’s funny and insightful. The guests are open and really put it all out there. But otherwise, surprise! It’s nothing like Dating While Gray. Of course there’s room for both of us.
There is one big coincidence. The creator and producer lives right here in my new hometown. We got together recently to talk about our shared mission. As you’ll hear, she’s also keenly interested in gray daters.
CAITLIN PIERCE
My name is Caitlin Pierce, and I’m the creator and producer of Hang Up, which is a reality dating podcast with no rings attached.
LAURA STASSI
I love the tagline. What I’m curious about is how you got interested in the topic of dating as a podcaster?
CAITLIN PIERCE
Well, obviously, I’m very medium biased. But I often think that in audio, we do like better versions of what is done in television. So I think we assume that our audience is smarter, I think that we just make l better quality work. When I came up with the idea for Hang Up, I was — it was in December 2020. So a dark time, literally and metaphorically. And I really liked reality shows, but like a lot of people have the complaint that they are done really poorly, you feel bad while you’re watching them. They don’t align with my values. So I started, you know, really complaining to my husband, like, how I wish someone would make a better version of a reality dating show specifically, and how easy it would be to do it. And so then, you know, every day, I was so bored, I had no job. So I was I was coming up with like, really specific ways that someone could do it.
LAURA STASSI Dating While Gray was born out of my personal experience. You have a husband?
CAITLIN PIERCE Yes.
LAURA STASSI Do you have an open marriage?
CAITLIN PIERCE
We do. I actually date other queer people, but I didn’t when I started making Hang Up. So Hang Up is kind of my — I didn’t know it at the time. But it was kind of my like art project to figure out a lot of stuff about myself, too.
LAURA STASSI Oh.
CAITLIN PIERCE Yeah.
LAURA STASSI Do you think for you, it was the pandemic that helped you realize who you were?
CAITLIN PIERCE
That’s a great question. I’m 36, just to — almost 37. And I don’t, I don’t know if it was the pandemic. Hmm. I don’t identify with the term like being in the closet, or like coming out of the closet, because I think that implies that, you know, I had this like, part of myself that I was like, hiding or something. I feel like it was more of like, learning who I am, as I, you know, became older.
LAURA STASSI
You are married heterosexual married when this — I don’t know, I hate to say evolved …
CAITLIN PIERCE
No, it’s OK. I don’t know what words to use, either.
LAURA STASSI
But so because the focus of Hang Up is not necessarily heterosexual dating.
CAITLIN PIERCE
Yes.
LAURA STASSI
Yes. Yes. Okay. So tell us about the concept of the show.
CAITLIN PIERCE
Kind of like a cross between The Bachelor and Love Is Blind. So there is one main person who we call the star, and we connect them, or we match them with six callers. So there’s kind of like a phone theme throughout the show. And in each episode, the star goes on a date with each caller. And then at the end of the series of dates, chooses one person to hang up on and eliminate from the show. All the dates are over the phone, they never see each other, we never see them. So it’s really off the connection they’re able to make through the voice only, which I think is really interesting as a listener, because we are also experiencing them in the same way.
LAURA STASSI
Spoiler alert, there’s one that it’s pretty explicit, I think, where they’re talking about what they like to do in the bedroom.
CAITLIN PIERCE
Yeah.
LAURA STASSI
And even with there was some, I could send some hesitation in some of the voices like, I really don’t want to be talking about this. And on the one hand, I as a person think, oh, you know, you do need to talk about this. But do you need to talk about this before you’ve actually even met someone face to face?
CAITLIN PIERCE
Probably not. I mean, I just to be clear, I would never be on my show. It is — we’re asking a lot of people and it’s, it’s really beautiful, like how vulnerable and open people are willing to be.
LAURA STASSI
The way you approach the topic of dating is very different from the way we approach the topic of dating. Not better, not worse, it’s just different. I also found it interesting that your first season was here in Richmond.
CAITLIN PIERCE
Another goal of the show is we want to profile communities, particularly queer communities, that don’t get a lot of media attention. So you can be gay outside of San Francisco and New York and Chicago.
LAURA STASSI
No way! (laughter)
CAITLIN PIERCE
Yeah. Yeah. I know, a lot of people don’t know that. But yeah, so we wanted to show that, you know, these communities exist. And also just like, I don’t know, what’s the deal with people in Richmond? And our second season’s in Albuquerque. And so it’s the same idea of just like, these are people who otherwise like, you’re not going to see on TV.
LAURA STASSI
And you talked about this a little bit that you’re surprised at the vulnerability or you appreciate them. And I’m surprised that people what they confide in me, you know, even though sometimes we don’t use their real names, but it feels to me that your show might require more vulnerability, because there’s a sort of an end prize. They’re competing to win a date.
CAITLIN PIERCE
So the twist is that at the end, the caller can choose whether they want to go on an all-expenses paid vacation with the star, or they hang up on the star and take a cash prize instead. So they have incentive to keep going along with the game, seeing if the connection is formed and still there. And if it’s not in the end, and they are the last person chosen, then they get to choose, you know, they can choose cash. They don’t have to continue on with the star.
LAURA STASSI
Yeah. And they have to make their choice before they actually meet the star face to face.
CAITLIN PIERCE
Yes.
LAURA STASSI
It’s just a date, people. This is I don’t understand why anybody wouldn’t have gone through with the whole thing.
CAITLIN PIERCE
Whenever I tell people about this, everyone says either well, that’s silly. Of course, they’re going to take the vacation, or that’s silly. Of course, they’re going to take the cash. And the thing that I think is hard to imagine is that they are literally on the phone for maybe three hours total before they have to make this choice. So imagine you’ve never seen this person, you’re on the phone with them. And that’s the thing, too. It’s not like I pay for you a nice dinner out. It’s like you’re going on a vacation.
LAURA STASSI
But it’s just for a weekend.
CAITLIN PIERCE
Yeah, yeah. It’s just for a weekend. Just to be clear, there are separate bedrooms. Wake sure everyone’s safe. But it is like if you’re not sure about the connection, wouldn’t you just rather have some cash.
LAURA STASSI
This is where some of my listeners might be particularly interested. You are looking for older people to profile, yes, or to include?
CAITLIN PIERCE
Yes. So we would love to cast people who are, you know, over 50, we’re really open, we’re casting a really wide net initially, we’re open to, as you’ve heard all kinds of bodies, all kinds of genders, all different attractions, all different sexualities, all different abilities. So if you’re listening and interested at all, please apply. We also have a nomination form.
LAURA STASSI
Now, I don’t like this part. I have to say, I don’t I mean, I think I understand what you’re going for. But for example, please do not nominate me. I don’t think I could — I don’t, I don’t have the comfort level.
CAITLIN PIERCE
Just because you apply or are nominated, does not mean you’re on the show the next day. There is a long vetting process. We talk you know, and connect multiple times, it’s very high consent, I really describe what it’s like being on the show. There’s a lot of rejection baked into the show, and that some people aren’t going to feel comfortable with that. And our most important thing is that people are having a really good time. And that people are really proud of what we put out, which I don’t think is often the case with reality TV.
LAURA STASSI
Can you say that again? I think that is a very important point.
CAITLIN PIERCE
Yeah. So both myself and our host Zakiya Gibbons, and our editor and sound designer, Ben Montoya — we all have journalist backgrounds. We all have, I have over 10 years of experience making documentaries. And we bring that kind of ethos into our work. So even though it’s in the reality genre, we work with people just the same as you work with people. I mean, I’m sure it’s a little different.
LAURA STASSI
But no, but it’s honesty. And it’s — yes.
CAITLIN PIERCE
it’s just important that people are safe and healthy first, and then that from there that we can have a really good time. And we’re not here to drag people. There’s definitely some playful roasting, definitely baked in. But it’s just, if people aren’t having a good time, I don’t know why I’m making this thing. You know, I’m not here to add to the pile of, you know, dumpster fire, we have plenty of that content. You can find that on your streaming service.
But we’re here to make something different. And we treat people with care. And also, if you’re listening and you’re like, I am looking for someone new, but I don’t want to do something like that, then don’t apply. You know, like, that’s okay, we’re looking for people who just like, want to have a really weird time.
LAURA STASSI
Weird in a good way.
CAITLIN PIERCE
Yeah, exactly. So if you do want to apply or nominate someone, you can go to hangupshow.com/apply.
LAURA STASSI
Hangupshow.com/apply.
CAITLIN PIERCE
Yeah.
LAURA STASSI
Again, do not nominate me, please.
(laughter)
END CREDITS
Speed Dating While Gray audio production and mix is by Steve Lack: Audio. For more on the show, including how to get in touch with me, go to datingwhilegray.com. I’m Laura Stassi. Thanks for listening.
Episode transcripts are posted on the Dating While Gray website before they are thoroughly proofread. The audio of this episode is the authoritative record. For terms of use and permissions, please email laura@datingwhilegray.com.